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जगणं म्हणजे सुखदु:खाचं गाठोडं..
त्यातल्या दु:खांनी आपण व्यथित होतो,
हातून जे निसटून गेलं, त्याची खंत बाळगतो
पण आयुष्यात जे असतं, ते मात्र `गृहीत' धरतो.
`नाही' म्हणून दु:ख करताना `आहे' याचा आनंद का नाही मनवायचा ?
आनंदाच्या छोट्या छोट्या चांदण्या, आयुष्याचं आभाळ भरून टाकतील...
`मित्रा, बघ ना, तिला जाऊन आज पंधरा दिवस झाले आणि पंधरा दिवसात मी एकदाही सिगारेटला हात लावला नाही. ती मला किती सांगायची रे कमी कर स्मोकिंग, पण मी हट्टाने ऐकायचो नाही आणि आता घ्यायची इच्छा होत नाही.' पंधरा दिवसांपूर्वीच त्याची जन्मभराची सोबती असलेली पत्नी त्याला अचानक सोडून गेली.अल्पशा आजाराचे निमित्त झाले. अन् आठ दिवसांत खेळ आटोपला. हे असं अवचित ध्यानी-मनी नसताना घडेल असं कोणाला तरी वाटलं होतं का ? म्हणजे माणूस काय स्वप्न पाहत असतो आणि काय होऊन बसते ?
तसा तो स्वभावाने अगदी बडबडा अन् ती काहीशी अबोल. अगदीच साधी राहणारी, ओळख झाल्यानंतर तीन वर्षांनी प्रेमविवाह झाला. दोघांनाही आपल्या स्वभावाची पुरेशी ओळख झाली होती. सुरुवातीची वर्षे पटकन् सरलं. वेलीवर फूलही उमलले. ते दोघे अन् दहा वर्षांची चिमुरडी असा त्रिकोणी संसार. अगदी दृष्ट लागण्यासारखा सुरळीत चालू होता. ती उच्चशिक्षित असूनही मुलीसाठी बाहेर नोकरी करीत नव्हती. पूर्णत: तिच्यावर लक्ष केंद्रित केले होते. सासू-सासऱ्यांचीही मनापासून सेवा करायची. तो खूप हौशी अन् रसिक अन् हिच्या तर फारशा काही मागण्याच नसायच्या.. त्यामुळे संघर्षाला कधी तोंड फुटले नव्हते. अगदी आहे त्यात समाधानी, तृप्त. तिने काही मागितले स्वत:हून असे आजपर्यंत त्याला कधी आठवत नव्हते. तिच्या चेहऱ्यावर एक वेगळीच तृप्तता तरळून जायची.
कंपनीच्या कामानिमित्त तो आठ-दहा दिवस जरी परगावी गेला तर तिथून परतल्यानंतर ती अगदी आनंदून जायची. त्याच्यासाठी काय करू काय नाही असे तिला होऊन जायचे. एखाद्या नवपरिणीतेसारखा तिचा आवेग असायचा. तो आवेग जसा न् तसा आज त्याला आठवत होता.
अवघं बारा वर्षांचं सहजीवन दोघांनी अनुभवले. तशी ती मोजकेच बोलायची. अगदीच खोलात जाऊन काही विचारणा केलीच तर छानसे स्मित करायची ... नुकतंच तिनं आपलं घर इंटिरीअर डेकोरेटरकडून सजवलं होतं. घराला बोलता आलं असतं तर तिच्या नसण्याचे दु:ख त्याने नक्कीच बोलून दाखवलं असतं.
मित्र म्हणाला, ``अरे, काळ हेच सगळया जखमांवरचे औषध आहे. काळाच्या ओघात जखमा सुकतात. व्रण राहतात मागे..' तो मित्रावर उसळला एकदम ... `काय - काय म्हणतो आहेस तू - अरे, उलट जसा जसा एक एक दिवस पार पडतो तसतसा मी त्या आठवणींच्या जंगलात स्वत:ला हरवून बसतो. आठवणी जास्त तीव्र व्हायला लागतात. जखमांचे व्रण पुन्हा आठवण देऊन जातात अन् आठवणी परत जखमा देतात. हे बघ असा तिच्या फोटोंचा अल्बम बरोबर घेऊन फिरतोय - तसा मी परफेक्ट माणूस आहे. कुठल्याही अडचणींशी मी टक्कर देऊ शकतो. तिच्याशिवाय सगळया गोष्टी मी तशा मॅनेजही करू शकतो. पण एखादा क्षण असा येतो ना की वाटतं - मी आता पुरता कोसळलोय- परत उठू शकेन असंही वाटत नाही. सांग, कोसळू का मी ? की सावरू स्वत:ला बाकीच्यांसाठी...' त्याच्या बोलण्यावर मित्र तरी काय बोलणार ? नि:शब्द शांतता दोघांच्या मनाला भेदून गेली. तो काहीसा शांत झाला. थोडेसे भानावर आला. तिच्या जागी मी दुसऱ्या कुणाची कल्पनाच करू शकत नाही. तिच्याशिवाय राहण्याचं मी स्वत:च स्वत:ला बळ देईन.'
मित्र म्हणाला, `हो रे, कुणी कितीही बाहेरून तुला उभे राहण्याचं बळ दिलं तरी ते सर्व वरवरचंच रे. तुला आतून सावरायचे आहे. स्वत:ला तू ठरवशील तेव्हाच ते शक्य आहे.'
`कळतंय रे ते मला - पण हे बघ मित्रा, तुम्हा सर्व जिवलगांना मला एकच कळकळीचं सांगणं आहे. अगदी निर्वाणीचं म्हण हवं तर - - नसताना एवढे दु:ख सहन करतो आपण तर असण्याचा उत्सव का साजरा करू नये आपण ? जगण्याचा उत्सव साजरा केला पाहिजे. सहवासाचा प्रत्येक क्षण न् क्षण असोशीने जगण्यासाठी बद्ध असलं पाहिजे. कुठचा क्षण येईल अन् एकमेकांपासून हिरावून घेईल ते सांगता येत नाही. आठवतंय आजही सारं. एकत्र घालवलेले आनंददायी क्षण इतके उल्हासदायी क्षण की त्या क्षणांच्या शिदोरीवर कदाचित आयुष्यही सरेल, खरंच सहजीवनात वेळ दिला पाहिजे एकमेकांसाठी. वेळ निसटूनही जाऊ शकतो. त्याच्या बोलण्याला फार गहन अर्थ आला होता त्या क्षणी... त्याच्या मित्रालाही क्षणभर स्वत:ची कणव आली... अरे, किती साध्या साध्या गोष्टींतून राग-राग करून मी सहजीवनातील चांगले चांगले क्षण गमावले आहेत आजपर्यंत.. रडत कुढत जगण्यापेक्षा थोडा आनंद पेरला तर...' दोघेही विचारात गढून गेले. एक खूप काही गमावून बसला होता तर दुसरा स्वत:ला सावध करू पाहत होता.
स्वाती किशोर पाचपांडे
९, राणे गार्डन्स, कृषिनगर, नाशिक - ५
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