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या गृहस्थांची पत्नी काही वर्षांपूर्वी क्रॅन्सरने दगावली. पंचवीस वर्षांचा एकत्र प्रवास संपुष्टात आला.
मधून मधून कामानिमित्ताने हे गृहस्थ लंडनला जात असताना त्यांची ओळख या महिलेशी - विभावरीशी होते. तिचा पहिला घटस्फोट झालेला असतो. तिला दोन मुले असतात. मुलीचे लग्न झालेले असते व मुलाचे लग्न एका इंग्लिश मुलीशी ठरलेले असते. वसंत आणि विभावरी, एकमेकांच्या आवडीनिवडी स्वभावविशेष समजावून घेऊन लग्न करायचे ठरवितात. सज्ञान मुलांना त्याची कल्पना देतात आणि त्यांची संमती घेऊन छोटासा लग्नसमारंभ पार पडतो.
आमच्या येथील समाजात वयानं लहानमोठ्या असलेल्या अनेक महिला आहेत की ज्यांना दुर्दैवाने वैधव्य आलं आहे किंवा काही कारणास्तव घटोस्फोटितेचे जीवन जगावे लागत आहे. त्याबरोबर अनेक विधुर अथवा घटस्फोटित पुरुषही एकलकोंडे जीवन जगत आहेत. यांत काही विधवा मुलींना एक दोन अपत्ये आहे तर काही कर्तबगार, निरनिराळया व्यवसायात निपुण असलेल्या आणि अपत्य असलेल्या विधवा अथवा घटस्फोटित महिला पण आहेत. अशा स्त्रियांबद्दल सर्व साधारण सहानुभूती-अनुकंपा समाजामध्ये दिसून येते. पण विधुर अथवा घटस्फोटित पुरुषाबद्दल मात्र समाज दखल घेण्याचे बुद्धिपुरस्सर टाळतो. पुण्याच्या सौ. निर्मला आपटे `बापा' बद्दल लिहितात-
``आईकडे अश्रूंचे पाट असतात, पण बापाकडे संयमाचे घट असतात. आई रडून मोकळी होते. पण सांत्वन वडिलांनाच करावं लागतं आणि रडणाऱ्यापेक्षा सांत्वन करणाऱ्यावरच जास्त ताण पडतो. कारण ज्योतीपेक्षा समईच जास्त तापते ना ! पण श्रेय नेहमी ज्योतीलाच मिळत राहतं. रोजच्या जेवणाची सोय करणारी आई आमच्या लक्षात राहते. पण आयुष्याच्या शिदोरीची सोय करणारा बाप आम्ही किती सहज विसरून जातो. पत्नी अर्ध्यावरच साथ सोडून गेली तर पोरांसाठी बापालाच अश्रूंना आवर घालावा लागतो.. वडलांच्या टाचा झिजलेल्या चपलांकडे पाहिलं की त्यांचं प्रेम कळतं. त्यांची फाटकी बनियन पाहिली की कळतं की ``आमच्या नशिबाची भोकं त्यांच्या बनियनला पडली आहेत''. त्यांचा दाढी वाढलेला चेहरा, त्यांची काटकसर दाखवतो. कोणत्याही परीक्षेचा निकाल लागल्यावर आई जवळची वाटते. कारण ती जवळ घेते, कवटाळते, कौतुक करते. पण गुपचूप जावून पेढ्याचा पुडा आणणारा बाप कुणाच्या लक्षात येत नाही. पहिलटकरणीचं खुप कौतूक होतं, पण हॉस्पिटलच्या आवारात अस्वस्थपणे वावरणाऱ्या त्या बाळाच्या बापाची कोणीही दखल घेत नाही.''
सहचर अथवा सहचरी गेल्यानंतर स्त्रीला होणारे दु:ख, वेदना आणि पुरुषाला होणारे दु:ख-वेदना यात खूप तफावत असते. आणि त्याला कारणेही वेगवेगळी असतात. पण सांगायचा मुद्दा असा की, स्त्रीला काय किंवा पुरुषाला काय, सोबत्याचा विरह किती जरी तापदायक असला तरी तिला अगर त्याला पुढचे जीवन जगायचे असते, जगावे लागते. हे असे विरागी जीवन जगण्याची या कालात तरी आवश्यकता नसावी.
वय वर्ष २८ पासून ते ४० पर्यंतच्या वयोमर्यादेत असलेल्या विधवा अथवा घटस्फोटित स्त्रीपुरुषांचे विवाह होतात. अपवाद म्हणून ४० ते ५५ वयाच्या आत असलेल्या विधुर, विधवा अथवा घटस्फोटित, मध्यमवयीन व्यक्तींचे विवाह काही मर्यादित संख्येने दृष्टीस येतात. परंतु ५५ चे पुढे गेलेल्या `ज्येष्ठ' नागरिकांची लग्ने अशक्य कोटीतील वाटतात. याला प्रमुख कारण म्हणजे `साठी बुद्धी नाठी' किंवा शारदेतला `म्हातारा इतुका न अवघे पाऊणश वयमान' अशी कुत्सित हेटाळणी करणारे आमच्याच समाजांतील काही तथाकथित `समाजधुरीण' असतात.
माणसाच्या जीवनातली ही संध्याकाळ सोबतीविना अतिशय कष्टाची जाते. विशेषत: आजाराने, व्याधीने जर्जर झालेल्याला अथवा पंगुत्व आलेल्या व्यक्तीला हे एकाकी जीवन, मरणापेक्षाही जास्त क्लेशदायक होते. म्हणून या वयात सहवासाची-सोबतीची गरज फार मोठी असते.
चाळीस पन्नास वर्षांपूर्वी भारतात आपल्याकडे एकत्र कुटुंब पद्धती होती. त्यावेळी घरातील वृद्ध माणसांचे पालनपोषण करणे कर्तव्य समजले जात असे. आता तसे राहिले नाही. कारण कुटुंब लहान होत गेले आणि कुटुंबातील वृद्धांची- अगदी आई वडिलांची सुद्धा अडचण-अडगळ वाटू लागली. म्हणून ही अडगळ बाजूला करण्याचा मार्ग म्हणजे त्यांना वृद्धाश्रमात ठेवण्याचा पर्याय लोकप्रिय होऊ लागला आहे. अर्थात हा पर्याय फक्त आर्थिकदृष्ट्या सधन असणाऱ्यांपुरताच मर्यादित आहे.
अमेरिकेतही वृद्धाश्रमासारखी अनेक ठिकाणे आहेत. नर्सिंगहोम्स, आीीळीींशव ङर्ळींळपस ऋरलळश्रळींळशी, जश्रव असश केाशी, डी. उळींळूशप'ी उेाश्रिशुशी अशी अनेक ठिकाणे आहेत. येथील ज्येष्ठ नागरिक आर्थिकदृष्ट्या सधन आणि स्वतंत्र असतात. सर्व नागरिकांना त्यांच्या सोशल सेक्युरिटीचे मासिक उत्पन्न असते. सुबत्ता असूनसुद्धा अमेरिकेमधील अनेक ज्येष्ठ नागरिकांना नर्सिंगहोमचा खर्च परवडत नाही आणि मग ही वृद्ध माणसं आपल्या मुलामुलीकडे आश्रयाला येतात.
या सर्व गोष्टींचा साकल्याने विचार केल्यानंतर खात्रीने आपल्याला पटेल की
१) वृद्धापकाळी कोणत्याही व्यक्तीने सहचर अथवा सहचरी निवडली तर मित्रांंनी अथवा समाजाने टीका न करता अशा लग्नांना प्रोत्साहन द्यावे.
२) ज्या ज्येष्ठ नागरिकाचे स्वत:चे घर, कान्डो अथवा टाऊन हाऊस असेल तर ते कोणत्याही कारणास्तव त्यांनी सोडू नये.
३) स्वत: आपण आणि आपला जोडीदार या शिवाय दुसऱ्या कुणाचीही (स्वत:ची मुले धरून) निष्कारण काळजी करत बसू नये.
४) आपल्या जोडीदाराखेरीज दुसरी कोणतीही व्यक्ती, वस्तू अगर धनदौलत जास्त मौल्यवान नाही याची खूणगाठ बांधावी
५) वयाचा अडसर बाजूला सारून एकाकी जीवन जगण्याऐवजी आपला सहचर अथवा सहचारिणी जरूर निवडावी कारण तुमचं आयुष्य हे तुमचं आहे आणि ते जास्तीत जास्त सुखात आणि समाधानात जगण्याचा तुमचा हक्क आहे.
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