एकाएकी उदास व्हावे असंच काही तरी अस्वस्थ मनात घडून जातं. या अस्वस्थतेला छटाही तशाच असतात. नेमकी गुंतागुंत समजायच्या आत हळवा कोपरा ठणकायला लागतो.
दिवसाची सुरुवात तशी काहीशी कावरी बावरी झाल्यागतच असते. नेमकी कोणती लय केव्हा बेसूर होईल सांगता येईलच असे नाही, तसेही प्रत्येक वेळेला सूर गवसेलच असे नाही. मात्र आपण सुरांना जुळवत मात्र राहतो. सुरांच्या बेरजा कराव्या तितक्या करीत राहतो. सुटेल ते कोडं सोडवायचं आणि पुढे जायचं ही अशी तगमग का ! खरं तर अवतीभोवती सर्वच काही असतं. जिवाभावाची माणसंही तुमचीच असतात. तरी देखील पाण्यावर तरंग उठावेत तशीच काहीशी आपली अवस्था का होते ?
आपण स्वत:ला शोधीत निघायचं तर आपणच आपल्याला गवसत नाही. मला वाटतं खूप महत्त्वाकांक्षी असण्यामुळे तर असं घडत नसावं. किंवा नेणिवेतील कुठली कळ तर ही नसावी, जी परत परत दुखऱ्या जागा निर्माण करते. ...शेवटी आपली आपणच पोकळी तयार करून ठेवीत असतो.
जितका मनाचा तळ अथांग तितकीच खोलवर अस्वस्थता व्यापून उरते. शब्दांनी छळलं तरी शब्दांनी घेरून उरतोच की आपण ! शेवटी उरतो तो पाठशिवणीचा खेळ न थकता खेळत राहायचं, त्याला अंत नाही.
`पुढे धोका आहे' अशी पाटी जरी कुणी तुमच्या आयुष्यात पुढे सरकवली तरी, आपण ती ओलांडायची तयारी ठेवलीच म्हणून समजा. शेवटी प्रवाहाच्या विरोधातील हे पोहणे सर्वच नियमांचे संकेत मोडायला लावतात.
तशी ही विद्रोहाची जातकुळीच वेगळी म्हणा! आणि तऱ्हाही वेगळीच. जे शक्य नसतं अशा सर्वच शक्यतांचा विचार करून जीवन आलेखालाच नव्याने रेषा ओलांडायला लावणाऱ्या आपण! वेड्यागत प्रवासाला निघालो असे वाटत राहते.
- डॉ. निशा शेंडे, अमरावती
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